Day 8 - No Go!

Honolulu - Hilo

Supposed to be a bit of a nothing day this, as we were to travel to the Big Island. With the demise of Aloha Airlines, we had to quickly rebook flights as we had already paid for car hire and accomodation. The website for Hawaiian Air doesn't accept credit cards from non-US, Canadian or Australian addresses so we had to use Go! Airlines to arrange a flight.

After booking on their website, I picked up the local paper and found a story about two Go! pilots being suspended for falling asleep and overflying Hilo. The article cited many accusations including punishing schedules for the flight crews which made the company sound like the Ryanair of Hawaii.

You can tell where this is going, can't you?

We arrived at Honolulu airport at just past 12 and took advantage of the wonders of curbside checkin. We're down to three heavy bags plus a carryon each making moving stuff a logistical nightmare. The stupid security restrictions don't help and I realised we had left such dangerous items as sunblock and water in carry on luggage - I seem to recall these restrictions being temporary which led to Caroline being advised to decant a ten dollar tube of suncream into a transparent container and then being told she couldn't take it on anyway.

Past the security and into the commuter terminal, which sells those restricted bottles of water BTW and there aren't enough seats especially as many airlines are showing delayed/cancelled. We settled in for an anticipated hour wait, which turned into a little longer, then longer, then the inevitable - our flight was announced as delayed by an hour. To be honest, this wasn't a surprise, as firstly each other Go! flight was delayed and secondly they told us the flight would be delayed 15 minutes after we were due to take off.

We eventually boarded about an hour late. I was getting increasingly tense as I figured we would land at about 4.30, which given our car hire place were closing at 5pm was going to make things a bit tight. My calm wasn't enhanced when staff walked on the plane and removed some passengers who had tickets for a later flight, but then were told they could use this one, but now can't.

Then as we taxiied onto the runway, not from the gate, the runway, the woman next to me started a call on her mobile. It must have been the look on my face that made her stop and not the air of barely supressed menace in my voice.

40 minute flight to Hilo, we're OK for time, just as long as all three bags make it safely to the flight. Off to the carousel and in almost the words of Meatloaf "Two out of Three Are Here". Yep, somehow Go! had managed to lose one of the bags. Caroline had to fill in the forms, while I sorted out the car.

It has been a bit of a yin and yang holiday, for everything that has gone wrong has been balanced out. The lady at the desk at the car hire firm was a wonderful character. A four foot something bundle of laughs called Willa reminded Caroline of Betty out of Ugly Betty. She not only sorted the paperwork, but provided plenty of maps, driving tips and so on.

The Ford Explorer is probably the biggest car I have ever driven and combined with an automatic transmission and driving on the wrong side of the road, I was really grateful that the roads are comparatively quiet on the Big Island.

We are staying in Volcano, about 30 miles from Hilo and by the time we got there the road was completely empty. Thanks to some great instructions, we found the cottage in which we are spending the next few days, unlocked the door and walked into the most completely charming little place. The Volcano Bungalow is a two bedroom place set right in the rainforest, isolated from just about anywhere. The place was already warmed up, with supplies of essentials. Afer the day we had, it took us about two minutes to feel completely at home.

In that 30 mile drive to Volcano, the road climbs and climbs from sea level to an elevation of 4,000 feet. For comparison purposes, Ben Nevis is 4,400 feet high and the next highest mountain in the UK is somewhere about 3,900.

Day 7 - Nipplebeard, the most feared pirate on these seas

Same as yesterday, beach followed by food. Although we have left the broken bag for repair while we journey to the Big Island. So, a few random thoughts.

Birds just don't care. Our balcony on the 19th floor has played host to plenty of birds who consider us to be intruding on their airspace. So they land, have a look around (including inside the room) and then fly off. On the beach, they just wander in and around everybody.

If you see a picture of Waikiki Beach, it looks quite big, but crowded by skyscrapers. In fact it is quite shallow and the skyscrapers far enough apart to not make you feel hemmed in.

California Pizza Kitchen does amazing pizzas. Between that and CheeseBurger, we are well catered for when it comes to quality food. The biggest lines we have seen are outside the Cheesecake Factory but the aforementioned eateries are better and cheaper. OK, so they aren't the most adventurous choice on the menu but sometimes we are professional travellers and sometimes we are just tourists.

Taxis are quite expensive - each taxi ride we have taken has cost us $10.

The "seven day weather forecast" on the local TV is the biggest waste of time. I kid you not, the forecast for the next week was 84,84,84,85,84,85,83.

Despite all the hot weather - I'm developing a cold.

Day 6 - The whitest man on Waikiki

After travelling and touring, this was our first full day on the beach. Let us be honest here, I have neither the physique nor skin colour to spend time on the beach. After a day, I had changed from white to white - with red sunburn bits. The temperature was 82oF for the day, yet unlike similar heat in for example, Miami, this was a drier, more tolerable heat.

The sea was pretty warm too - although in hindsight we should have hired/bought a half board to explore out to sea a bit more. This is because as you head out from the beach, the sand changes to volcanic rock. You can tell the difference when you walk out to sea and listen for the agonised screams as your feet hit the razor sharp lava rock.

As mentioned, I managed to get sunburnt despite judicious application of Factor 50 sunblock. There was simply no clouds and little shade as the beach is the perfect location underneath the arc of the sun. There were plenty of trips out, surf lessons, outrigger canoes and so on, but sometimes all you want is to sit and relax on the sand.

Eventually, our tolerance for the heat gave out and we headed back to the hotel. Not without pausing for some shaved ice - a large cone of "Waikiki Sunset" - ice chips flavoured with strawberry, banana and passion fruit. Basically a Slush Puppy writ large.

Thankfully a replacement flight has been sorted - Go! Airlines.

Day 5 - "And to your left..."

Being independent souls, the very idea of guided tour buses tends to offend both myself and Caroline. Being cooped up, only seeing the sights through a window while the driver talks to you, unable to stop and get out and explore?

So it was with a little trepidation that we had a 5am wakeup and onto a tour bus for a visit to Pearl Harbour and then a drive around the island of Oahu. And to be honest - I take it all back.

We had the most amazing guide. Kenn, a cross between Isaac Hayes and Morgan Freeman delivered a commentary that mixed facts, advice, laughs and displayed how much he genuinely loved living in Hawaii. At a couple of stops, he would gather us together and then show us some interesting flora, or perhaps pull over to point out some particular wild animals. We got the full monty and felt that we weren't customers, but valued guests, being shown around by a person immensely proud of his adopted home.

The tour started at Pearl Harbour. I was a little apprehensive of this, to be honest, as there is little more cringe inducing than American nationalistic sentimentality. However, the memorial to the USS Arizona is handled brilliantly, mixing the right amount of patriotism and respect.

The early start was necessary as the tours start at 7.45am and tickets are handed out strictly on a first come, first served basis. The tour consists of a 20 minute film, then boat out to the memorial, 15 minutes and then boat back. Even with us arriving shortly after 7am, and with each tour consisting of 150 people, we were visit number 3. By 10am, all tickets for the entire day had gone.

We were ushered into the viewing theatre to see a short film containing footage of the day - no reconstruction, this was the real thing. Narrated in a sympathetic, factual manner, it was no tubthumping exercise, no attempt to pull on the heart strings. The actual facts are moving enough - a Japanese admiral ordered to make an attack he thought was a mistake, yet planning and executing it brilliantly. A sleepy US Navy, making mistakes (a radar operator saw the planes on his screen and was told "don't worry about it"). Finally, the most shocking moment, actual footage of when a bomb exploded in the ammunition storage area of the USS Arizona, instantly killing over 1,000 men.

It is the wreckage of this ship that you are taking out to see. A platform is built over the wreck, the clear blue water giving you a good view of the hulk beneath. There is a wall decorated with the names of all those who died, along with a smaller piece of marble listing survivors who chose to be interred with their shipmates. It was completely silent on the memorial, save for the shuffle of feet and clicking of cameras.

As Kenn explained later, there is one thing that everyone remembers when they visit the Arizona. The smell. The Arizona went down with 1.5 million gallons of oil on board and it leaks still, with about 400,000 gallons left. You are totally unprepared for "The Tears of the Arizona", small rainbows of oil leaking from the wreckage, the smell of it transporting you back to 1941 much more effectively than any film or interactive experience could possibly hope to do. The oil reminds you that over 1100 dead men, some of them just 17 years old, lie just feet below where you stand. I'll never forget it.

The rest of the day was taken with a tour around the island, stopping off at the various beaches and sights. There was the usual touristy stops - incuding Dole Plantation, the largest grower of pineapples in the State. I consider pineapples to be Evil, something to be fished out of my sweet and sour chicken at all costs, yet I have to admit, fresh pineapple, really fresh pineapple is pretty damned tasty.

Of the tour itself, Oahu can be summed up in one word - Scenery. And it needs the capital S, as jaw dropping vista followed jaw dropping vista. Volcanoes, rainforest, sandy beaches, ocean of the deepest blue. Paint a picture in your mind of what you think Hawaii looks like and it will not match the reality.

Day 4 - Aloha Hawaii

Los Angeles - Honolulu (2276 miles)

Early-ish start as we arranged for the Super Shuttle to pick us up for the ride back to LAX. The driver was fantastically bad tempered, complaining that we weren't ready in time when in fact we booked a slot for 9.20-9.35 and he turned up at 9.15, as we were lifting the bags out of the door. To make things worse, one of the bags had its wheel snapped off during the journey which annoys me immensely - those are supposed to be strong. (In fairness, it looks strong enough, either a weak spot in the plastic or the driver was such an arse...) (*1)

We are currently on United Airlines flight UA83 from LAX to Honolulu. A greater contrast between this and Air New Zealand you couldn't imagine. A fairly tatty Boeing 767-300, stuck over the wing, too far forward to see the main projection screen properly, and the mini-one in front has a colour problem. 20 minutes late leaving as the toilets weren't working. Flight is full. Anything other than soft drinks and pretzels have to be paid for. To be honest, it feels like a rather unpleasant bus ride.  (*2)

The film failed to work (The Golden Compass) so the crew chucked a replacement on, and even managed to rename National Treasure: Book of Secrets to "The Book of National Treasure". Caroline plugged in her headphones to watch it and... nothing. The socket didn't work. For. Gods. Sake. Typically, I had to put the Earplugs Of Self-Defence in as the film built to its climax. Not that I was too bothered, as it was highly implausible rubbish. Entertaining rubbish, but, I'll be honest, it makes Independence Day look like a documentary. (*3)

It got worse. We landed at Honolulu to discover that the airline handling our inter-island flight to Big Island has, wait for it, gone bust. I suspect I can rebook the flights via Hawaiian Air, but until I get money transferred, that will make things a bit tight for a couple of days. (*4)

Thankfully, a crappy day was mitigated slightly by the discovery of Cheeseburgers In Paradise. A heart attack on a plate, complete with a pound of seasoned fries. With a 5am wakeup for the tour of the island tomorrow taking in Pearl Harbour, it is an early, and very grumpy, night.  (*5)


Footnotes from Caroline - 020608.

(*1) In defence of the bag - I am 99.9% sure that this was the fault of the bad tempered bus driver.  There was one small bag in the trunk when I helped the guy to load our bags.  There were several other pickups after us.  There was absolutely no need to move or remove our bags from the trunk until we got to the airport and yet move them he had - they were all over the place in a higgledy-piggledy mess.  And we get to the airport and before either of the suitcases were out of the trunk, he says to us, "Oh is this your wheel?!" (it was sitting in the trunk....)  Upon inspection of the bag it was SMASHED out of it's moulding.  I would put money on this scenario: that he had dragged said suitcase to the rear of the trunk in a pick up after our own but before we arrived at the airport and let it fall onto the tarmac - smashing the base from a great height.  After every flight I am in the habit of checking handles and wheel of my baggage (it's a thing from travelling alone so much I guess) and the airport baggage handlers hadn't cracked, ripped or dented anything since leaving Manchester - and these were brand new bags.


(*2)  I LOVE flying but this journey was the absolute pits and no leg room, never mind no view or in-flight entertainment (because the headphones socket was not working from my seat and I'd finished my book).   Consequently I was like an irritated mis-behaving 5 year old who couldn't and wouldn't sit still.  I am quite sure that I was a nightmare to sit next to and every 5 minutes I was thinking "ARE WE THERE YET?!"  Grrr.  Once released from my airborne prison, I was just fine though and for me, all was forgotten.  Just like a kid I'd moved on to new things that had grabbed my attention.  That said, I used to fly on United quite a lot and if this flight was representative of the service they offer these days, they've seriously gone down hill.  You have to realise, that there were mere degrees from me being guilty of air rage, although in today's sanitised air travel the most I'd have been able to do was brandish my toothbrush at someone.


(*3)  It's a good job that I couldn't tune in to the movie.  I *hate* movies like that.  I'd only wanted to tune in to pass the time, but to be honest if I'd been able to hear/watch it I'd have stormed the cockpit.  With my toothbrush you understand.  Well they say that things happen for a reason...


(*4)  This is a perfect instance of Opposites Attract.  What winds Mike up usually does not bother me in the slightest.  The airline going bust was one such example.  Mike was wound up and irritated about it for the whole evening whereas I was just fine now I was free from that wrectched United flight.  There was nothing that was going to dampen my mood Aloha or no Aloha as it happened.  Anyway, over my many years of exploring here there and everywhere for 2 or 3 months at a time and having been in similar circumstances (but with bigger price tags attached) with flights/tickets etc going crook I felt I'd been there, done that, bought the T-shirt and sent the postcard.  My attitude was just "well, we book flights on another airline and claim the money back from the credit card for the Aloha flights" but Mike's mood or concerns were no lightening.   Cheeseburger in Paradise and a few Zzzzzzzs cerainly helped though!  Quite a contrast to his normal very easy going nature. ;-)  Thank goodness we are opposites in so many ways!


(*5)  Cheeseburger in Paradise.  It really doesn't sound attractive does it?  Especially to someone like me who wont touch a burger with a barge pole.  Thankfully this place, located on the main strip on the road alongside Waikiki beach, did affordable and a great variety of nice 'n' simple fresh foods.  It had to be affordable anyway given Mike's concerns with the Aloha situation - anything else would have been a flat refusal.   Our other options seemed to be Burger King with enormous surfboard shaped door handles (erm, no) or sharing a salad in a posh nosh place instead!  So with locally sought chicken, shrimps, pineapple, various fish and of course burgers on the menu, plus iced tea and local beers, we had plenty to choose from. Waiters in grass skirts and the elaborate and rather funky mosaic tiled floor at the entrance completed the experience.  We weren't the only ones to think so either; the place was packed with a line out in the street. It was worth the 20 minute wait to be seated.  Seated and sorted.  (Relatively) happy bunnies again.

Day 3 - California Here I... Am

The 2 Day Park Hopper pass covered us for the other half of Disneyland Resort - Disney's California Adventure. Turn left instead of right at the main gates, and there you are. The California Adventure is kind of like Disneyland's bigger brother - less Mickey, more Pixar. Here you will find thrill rides, plus all the Bug's Life, Monsters Inc characters and so on. A smart move as it neatly disconnects the then and now of the original and 21st century CGI stuff. (*1)

We started at Hollywood Backlot, where my head was completely screwed by an amazing forced perspective backdrop, a city seemingly stretching into infinity and even up close, because to makes my eyes water as my brain tried not to be fooled. This area was also home to MuppetVision3D. Utilising the same 3D technique as Honey, I Shrunk the Audience, this - forgive the pun - took the idea to another dimension, with real muppets in the theatre, including Stadtler and Waldorf and the Swedish Chef, armed with a big cannon. A lot of giggles, a lot of "wow!" moments and not a few thoughts of "how the hell did they do that?" (*2)

The park was a little quieter, and we used Fastpass to have a go on the River Rapids (it was warm enough not to worry about getting soaked) and Caroline went on "A Bug's Tale" - I realised it would contain spiders, probably close up and in far too realistic 3D. I was right, especially as it also used smells and dropped a whole bunch of fake creepy crawlies on the audience. Frankly, if I had been stuck in there, the audience would have been treated to the sight of a 34 year old man having a nervous breakdown. Very. Loudly. (*3)

Highlight of the day was "Soaring Over California". Not really knowing what to expect, it seemed like some kind of gondola ride. In fact it was one of those big screen things, like IMAX, where the whole of your view is filled to give you the impression of flying in the air. Of course, being Disney, this was taken to the next level, with the audience on a seat that moved in time with the action and even gave you smells - for instance when flying over the orange fields, you could smell the oranges. Simply stunningly realised. (*4)

At the other end of the spectrum was "California Screamin'", what you could call the only traditional rollercoaster in the park. Unlike most coasters, which drag you to the top of a large hill to get going, Screamin' is a launched coaster. It uses a series of magnets to fire the car from Zero to Stupidly Quick in a couple of seconds. From launch (0 to 55 in 4 seconds), you go up a 120ft hill and down and over the other side round some more hills, through a loop and back to base all accompanied by music from speakers in the headrests.

The sheer power of the launch is almost impossible to describe, turning your knuckles white even before you hit the bottom of the hill as you have ten tons of adrenaline dumped into your system. The climb at the end of the launch track is a brief respite before diving down the other side. At least, that is the considered description. A real time description is

Leave station... roll to launch track... audio plays "Get ready screamers! Launch in Five...Four...Three...Two...One... AAARGHOHMYGODTHEREJUSTARENOTTHESWEARWORDS... F**K!ME!RAGGED!ARGGHDOWNAGAIN!WHEEEEEEEEE!YEAHHH!WHOOOOOO!

The kind of rush that has you walking off the ride and barging people out of the way, yelling "Get out of my way! I need more of that." Let's put it this way, when I rule the world, I'm having one of those in my back garden. (*5)


Footnotes from Caroline - 020608.

(*1)  Have got to say that I loved California Adventure.  It does remind me a little bit of the whole DisneyWorld, FL experience in the approach.  A shame that a couple of the attractions were not open e.g. Monsters Inc. but those that were open were amazing.  Definitely worth a looksee.


(*2)  Utterly brilliant.  Both Backlot and the Muppets theatre thingy.  Ingenious.  Personally I prefer all this sort of stuff than the rides.  But that's only because I don't like slopes - and rides have slopes.  


(*3)  Shall I just add that "A Bug's Tale" was particularly convincing - and I don't mind bugs.  I got kicked in the back by a crying and screaming 10-ish year old kid when the spiders fell from the roof and into our faces, weird musty "bug" smells filled the air and the "wind" started howling and it started to "rain".  The 10-ish year old's mother wasn't taking it much better - and presumably, not to be outdone by her daughter, let out an ear piercing scream that could have shattered glass.  At first I was thinking that it was such a great shame that Mike was standing outside in the sunshine whilst I was in a cool, dark "cave"but as the Tale progressed I became relieved that Mike wasn't with me; our travel insurance wouldn't have covered the damages and my street cred is still intact...


(*4)  Once again - utterly brilliant and very, very convincing.  Get to California Adventure and get your FastPass for "Soaring Over California" right away; the lines go on forever.  Another one worth visiting (again get a FastPass) is the Grizzly River Run (kinda like a Log Flume) and even though I don't do slopes, this one had to be done.  I just shut my eyes when there's a slope!!  We were fortunate not to be totally soaked although a raft in front of us got absolutely drenched by a late spurt of water after going over all of the rapids!  Put your camera/bags in the lockers beforehand!

The highlight of the day for me was actually once again the parade - this time the Pixar Parade complete with real and very huge bubbles in their thousands sent out from the tops of street lamps.  Loved it, loved it, loved it.  Of the rides my favourite was "Soaring Over California" for it's absolute realism and ingenuity.


(*5)  Well it didn't float my boat, but it was fun to watch people as there's a viewing deck right alongside/above the launch site!  If Mike's gonna have Screamin' in our future garden, can I have all the amazing plants and trees that we saw?  It's wonderful to see Bougainvillea, Bird of Paradise, massive cacti and lots of stuff I don't know the name of.  Even more amazing to see ripe strawberries, limes and lemon and bedding plants that would only flower in the height of summer at home.  Loved it all.  If my mum had have been with us she'd have been after cuttings of anything and everything - all carefully "snipped" with that beautifully manicured thumbnail of hers.  Sod customs regulations!  Those nails were apparently not just for picking on her guitar!

Day 2 - When Mickey met Mikey

No problems with bags or immigration, and we took the Super Shuttle down to Anaheim. We're staying just outside Disneyland, literally 100 yards from the main pedestrian entrance.

Being the cynical, stroppy sort, I had imagined Disney to be the embodiment of all things Corporate Evil, along with lashings of Sentimental Cheese. Lots of talk of "dreams" and having the slogan "The happiest place on Earth". That is, at least, the viewpoint of my Inner Cynic, you know, the one that stands in the kitchen at parties, muttering about the hosts choice of music.

However, my Inner Cynic had just been attacked by my Inner Eight Year Old, and been battered into submission by one of those toy hammers that squeaks when you hit something, all accompanied by shouts of "Micccckkkey Mooouuuuuse!" It is impossible to be cynical about Disneyland - the whole experience is designed to strip away all that negativity right from the ticket booth and aim straight for the big kid inside you. (*1)

In short, I loved it.

I say this having experienced the place in less than ideal circumstances. It was a bit cold, we were tired and being a Saturday, the place was heaving. None of it mattered, as we just wandered around just taking it all in. From a logisitcal point of view, it is an amzing place. Everywhere you turn, there is something happening, from street entertainment (strolling barbershop quartets, Disney characters) and each area is presented so beautifully. (*2)

Although we didn't make it to the big guns like Space Mountain (the Fastpass machines weren't available) we did see and do some cool things. My favourite was "Honey I Shrunk the Audience", one of those 3D cinema thingies where you wear a pair of glasses and then the screen seems to come alive. It is an incredible effect, and the first time Rick Moranis flies out of the screen and almost into your lap, it is impossible to avoid recoiling in a mix of shock and delight.

It was indicative of the day that Caroline and I simply sat down on Main Street with over an hour to go before the famous parade, simply to share a huge ice cream and wait. Again, on the surface, a bunch of Disney characters singing happy happy, joy joy songs sounds like the most vomit inducing thing in the world, but the whole thing has such an inner delight to it, it is impossible not to be swept along. For sheer imagination, design, coordination it is one of the most impressive things I have seen and after the parade, I really did feel like I was in a happy place. (*3)

Although it got cold, we waited for 9.30 and the famous firework show. It seemed like the world and his dog were gathered in front of the Magic Castle and the first indication that all might not go to plan was an announcement that the fireworks may be delayed or cancelled due to high winds.

No matter, as the show was given the go-ahead.... only to be stopped midway through. Which was a shame, as 60% of the best fireworks show I have ever seen is, well, still the best fireworks show I have ever seen. Music, effects and amazing fireworks.

I've often said about Cadbury World that the great thing about not having kids is that I still get to act like one. At Disneyland, that is true and then some. Yes , if you break it down, it is a bit cheesy and sentimental, but that is to miss the point spectacularly. And if anyone who disagrees, me and my Inner Eight Year Old will give you a good beating with a big plastic lightsabre.


Footnotes from Caroline - 020608.

(*1) I watched Mike's expressions throughout the whole time at Disney - they were of pure and simple delight.  Yes, that of an eight year old and written all over his face from start to finish.  I am hoping that at least one of my photos has recorded this for posterity!  Wonderful.  If I am ever stuck for anything to do for Mike's birthday in the future, I must remember that a theme park or resort/attraction designed for 8 year olds is worth considering.  Of course it must be convincing and larger than life or else Mr Cynical will return.


(*2) It is brilliant, there's no arguing about that, but having experienced DisneyWorld, FL in 1988, I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed about her elderly relative here in California.  OK, it's the original but I'm not sure that it's the best.  Bigger isn't always better, but I feel that DisneyWorld has built on the experiences of DisneyLand and come up with something that really is The Business.  It's huge - no, gargantuan - and every square foot is packed choc full of stuff to explore.  Having more physical space (there's no way you can explore Disney in FL in a day), the creators of DisneyWorld have really gone to town - quite literally in parts where you can explore various places in the world in mini settlements representing each country.  The place really is enormous though and I cannot emphasise that enough.  The public transport (everything from cute trains to horse drawn carriages and street cars) is there to be used and not just admired like we did at DisneyLand; your feet just don't hold up otherwise!  The rides are fantastic - and the rides that Six Flags/Alton Towers fans would call tame are delightful; not merely ways of saving the soles of your feet as you gently meander through the 3D displays - more I feel ways of transporting you, quite literally into another world with cute, larger than life 3D characters, scenery so close it's all encompassing and sounds and smells that make it just feel real.  I was disappointed to see that there was much less of this at DisneyLand - not that I was going to spoil Mike's delight by pointing this out at the time, but to anyone wondering whether they should visit Disney in California or Disney in Florida first, then for me it's Disney in Florida - hands down.  Of course I am sure that it will have significantly changed in the last 20 years, but I am also sure that the Magic Kingdom will have lost none of its magic and that it is still as delightful now as it was then.  As soon as I buy myself a spare pair of feet I'll just have to go back and see for myself.  I'll keep you posted...  

Just one question though: Don't they do Disney Dollars anymore? Anyone?

(*3) Sitting on the immaculate kerb beside an equally immaculate Main Street (Disney doesn't employ hundreds of street sweepers for nothing) gives the absolute *best* street level view of the parade.  Totally unobstructed.  You need to be sat down about an hour beforehand though and others quickly catch on, so spaces fill up fast.  The parade was my absolute favourite part of the day - for me better than the fireworks at night which were superb, but the parade really is *spectacular*.  My inner artist is bowled over in appreciation of the amazing costumes, the enormous floats and the absolute attention to detail.  Absolutely BRILLIANT.

Day 1 - Plaaaane!

Manchester to London Heathrow
London Heathrow - Los Angeles (9000km)

This trip contains a lot of things that Caroline and I have always wanted to do, see or experience. As I type, I'm flying at 38,000 feet in a 747. It might sound a bit daft, but I've always wanted to fly in a Jumbo ever since seeing them as a kid. Part of it is my fascination with all things on a large scale - I love stuff like huge towers, skyscrapers, feats of engineering that double as flights of imagination. Why build the biggest/highest? Because we can. At some point, things stop having just a function and become a work of art.I've always believed that people should do more of that sort of thing - rather than just creating a building that looks like a box shape, pour a bit of love and soul into it and make something memorable and iconic. Even discounting the sheer size of the thing, the Jumbo has such an iconic shape, I couldn't help but stand and look at it for a while in the waiting area at the gate. (*1)

The other part of it is that growing up I never even thought I would have had the opportunity to fly - it seemed as exotic to me as riding the Space Shuttle to the Moon. I remember standing in the fields outside the back of the house, looking at the exhaust trails crisscrossing the sky and wondering what I looked like from up there. Kind of like waving at a hot air balloon and hoping that the people in the wicker basket will wave back.

Oddly the actual flying has been fine. The getting to that bit was a pain. Modern travel seems deliberately designed to annoy these days, as we checked in at Manchester hours before takeoff having carefully arranged all the necessary documents, liquids, gels and all that faffing. The security staff were fine, efficient and friendly. I did have to empty one of the shower gels into another though for the heinous crime of being in a 250ml bottle. Note that I didn't have to abandon it, I only had to shift its location, which seems entirely pointless - if anything is going to go boom, it most certainly is not an empty bottle. Do I ever worry about security? Not really - I'm glad it is this, but if it fails then I'm not exactly going to be in a position to do anything about it.

The fact that Caroline accidentally got a tub of tea through (she had been meaning to drink it in the concourse before the flight) shows how daft the security can be. (*2)

First flight was BMI down to Heathrow. Nice and efficient until the pilot warned we were delayed 45 minutes before even getting to take off. He took the 737 down to the Wythenshawe end of runway 1 and just parked up. His estimate of 45 minutes was spot on, and then we headed all the way down to the other end of the runway and took off. Another short delay over London before a smooth landing at Heathrow, complete with excellent view of T5 - and a few thanks to the Travel Gods that we weren't going through there. Huge place, mind.

Change to T3 via Shuttle Bus and we find ourselves walking near a group of Japanese tourists. An organised group, the leader of which had a really cool way of grabbing the attention. She had a really colourful flower, that she could extend to a couple of feet in height. It was so incredibly cute! Want one! (*3)

We're flying to LA on on a 747-400 from Air New Zealand and the 10 and a half hour flight has been amazingly pleasant. We asked about an upgrade (hey, round the world honeymoons don't come around every day...) with no luck but the nice lady did move us back in the plane.

For some reason, the idea is "front good, back bad". Not quite sure why, as we had seats over the wing originally which is useless for Caroline and her photo opportunities.  (*4) We were moved back 20 rows and the seat next to me blocked off, so that we had the group of seats to ourselves.  

The service has been superb. I'm used to BMI or American Airlines, who are pretty good, but Air New Zealand have been on the next level. Food has been really good, very attentive and efficient. I had to smile a little bit, as you know the stereotype of a male flight attendant? This was reinforced when I walked through Manchester security, as I walked past an American Airlines steward and my gaydar went off the scale. However, Michele on Air NZ is polite, efficient and looks like he could beat the living daylights out of anyone who annoyed him by, for instance, looking at him funny. Or breathing in a particular way.

Haven't played with the toys on board much - about forty films on demand, plus games and all that. Instead, after the first meal, I grabbed the entirety of the middle row (the flight isn't exactly full, which makes my inner eco-warrior even more guilty for the carbon footprint), watched a bit of the first Lord of the Rings movie and then slept. Had about five hours sleep on and off which is pretty good considering.

We are less than an hour from landing at LA now (checks interactive display on screen) flying over Las Vegas and about 400 miles from our destination. Off comes the iPod and in go the earplugs. This is the bit of the flight I hate - descent. I know the crew do something to the air pressure inside the plane - don't know what - which affects my head really, really badly. It manifests itself in many ways, usually a lot of pain in a specific point which takes a few hours to clear. Once I had it behind one of my eyes, which was not fun at all. (It did indeed feel like a needle had been put in my eye, which to be honest would have been preferable.) However, Caroline discovered those Earplane plugs which seem to allay the worst of it.

Plan is to pass through immigration, get the Super Shuttle out to Anaheim/Disneyland, check in to the hotel and then sleep as best we can. I offer another prayer to the Travel Gods, this time to make sure our bags made it through Heathrow safely.

Footnotes from Caroline - 020608.

(*1) And my first flight to the US (to arrive in time for the fireworks at DisneyWorld, FL on 4th July 1988) was on a 747.... PanAm - and the sister flight to the Lockerbie 747.   And it *was* an amazing experience
for me too.  Perhaps it is something about the symbolic shape of the Jumbo - it certainly was symbolic for me.  A symbol of success to me as I sat there staring at this ENORMOUS aircraft thinking "I made it" - after having saved up since 1981 for this trip.  I blame a certain penpal (Jen Wozniak) who first put the idea of travelling to the States in my mind.  "Come visit us in Buffalo and I'll take you to Niagara Falls" she said in one early letter, accompanied by a postcard to illustrate how visually amazing the place was.  So I secretly started saving - at age 12 - for a trip that ultimately changed the pathway of my life.  But really, it was writing to Jen that did it.  There was a world out there to be explored and I had people to visit!

Sadly the person I made the journey with, my Aunt Mary (mum's elder sister) has just passed away - and with mum's 6th anniversary just this weekend, it's been a sad week. Still, good (and bad!) memories prevail. But I'll let that one rest in peace too...


(*2) A whole 200ml container of it too!!  Mike's brews are too good to leave, so as we left the house I couldn't leave the remains of my precious early morning brew behind and I decanted it into a clear plastic pot.  I totally forgot about it at the airport though - well until we were actually sitting in the waiting area eating ham butties we'd made that morning.  I remember sitting there thinking that I could just do with a "Mikey brew" and then I remembered that I had one with me!!!  (I drink black tea hot or cold - either is fine by me - so let that serve as a warning to anyone who tries to clear on of my half drunk mugs of tea away...)  How the hell it got through I have no clue.  For crying out loud, the airport machines at Honolulu were picking up a single bead of sweat off people - a pot of tea had no chance there, however good it was.


(*3) Which of couse stuck up in the air at around my height..... Made me feel tall.  Of course not half as much as it did by the end of the honeymoon (in HK)!!!


(*4) Got some nice shots of a very frozen Greenland and Newfoundland, Canada.  The in-air live flight map tells you exactly where you are - very helpful when I'm taking pictures!

Packing...

Almost 3am. Got to get up in 3 and a half hours time - this is my cunning tactic for surviving the 11 hour flight to LA - get so tired, I'll sleep all the way...